


Being With You

by calie15



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, First Time, Insecurity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:55:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6899470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calie15/pseuds/calie15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma wants to be with Bucky, but she's yet come to term with Bucky himself, and she's afraid she may fall a little short.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being With You

Jemma's never considered her brain to be a terrible thing, until she can't turn it off. 

Until she cancels on a night with Bucky, because she gets cold feet. Because there was some unspoken agreement that it was going to happen, they would have sex. 

Her libido was more then happy with that decision until she began to think.

Jemma had never seen him with his shirt off, which was rather surprising. So she thought about that. She didn't care about his arm, but she did begin to mentally compare him to the men she did know that well. And Bucky was...big. She could image all of her old school mates now, wondering if she had lost her mind. He's strong, big, dangerous, has a couple dozen assassination under his belt, more kills, and has a metal arm. But no one could deny that he wasn't wasn't attractive enough to make you melt.

Her mind slowly descended into the gutter with images that she hadn't allowed herself before. What his weight might feel on top of her, large strong hands gripping her. Maybe she was setting her expectations too high, he still was a man, but when Daisy had wished her luck and said something to the effect of 'sore body parts and bruises, yum' Jemma hadn't been able to get it out of her head. Not that Bucky would hurt Jemma, but a dirty part of her mind did fantasize about him being rough with her.

Then there's the entire aspect of him as a person. He's Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier. Captain America's best friend, an Avenger, a former brainwashed HYDRA assassin. Bloody hell. He was nice and all, and clearly liked her, but why? In the grand scheme of things Jemma felt rather small in comparison to him. Which was crazy, because she was a genius. 

But she wasn't strong, she'd never be able to spar with him and impress him with any physical prowess.

Jemma knows she is being a fool, but at the end of the day Jemma still feels inadequate. She is brilliant, but how was she supposed to keep up with two hundred pounds of super soldier and muscle. How could she remain important to a man so widely known that even the most dangerous people feared him.

Jemma cursed herself during her night alone, admitting that she wanted him. The next day she ignored his two phone calls and she stayed wrapped up in work. At night the door slammed and she turned to look up.

"You're avoiding me."

Jemma turned and immediately went on the defensive. "I'm not."

"You're a terrible liar," he countered and came to stand behind her. "Jemma?"

Jemma sighed. She couldn't continue to lie and hide from her own insecurities. "I had cold feet."

"About what?"

"Oh please. I just...I had some reservations and-."

"Do you think I give a shit about that?"

Jemma turned and looked up at him with a raised brow, knowing better. She'd had his hands on her before, she knew very well that he liked the thought of a physical relationship.

"Okay, well would you rather me say I don't want you?" He countered. "But I'd rather you be with me even if it's to bore me to death reading science journals."

Jemma opened her mouth to argue. "I never have-."

"I know," he smiled. Bucky glanced behind him and then turned back to grab her hands and pull her with him as he backed up and sat in a shower.

Jemma let him tug her between his legs. "I was being immature about it. Don't you just ever find me boring? Or just too normal?"

"You're hardly normal and never boring," he argued.

"Yes, well, while I appreciate the thought," Jemma looked away embarrassed, "I'm sure you'll find me a total bore in bed and I can't imagine how much longer it will be before you tire of lingering around labs. I'll admit, without trying to be conceded, that I may have some exceptional qualities, but I at some point hanging around the quaint little scientist won't be as attractive as it once was."

"Are you fucking serious?" He snapped.

Jemma's head snapped to him and he looked at her as if she'd lost her mind.

"You know how many people I've killed, lives I destroyed. I'm a fucking mess. Do you think there isn't a day that goes by that I wonder when you'll come to your senses and decide you don't want to deal with the fuck up anymore?"

"I wouldn't..." She whispered, slightly surprised by his intense reaction.

"Of course you wouldn't, because you're to good, and I know that, and the fact that you're so much better then me scares the hell out of me." Bucky frowned and flickered his eyes over her face. "If you think for one minute up giving you up then you aren't as smart as I thought you were."

Maybe she blinked away tears and smiled a little. "I am smart."

He smiled slightly. "I know. Now, grab your junk and come home with me and find some way to bore me until I fall asleep."  
\------------

It was Jemma that was bored. She was bored of Bucky's stupid friendly kisses. She was bored of his hand only above her waist, his lips ghosting her cheek and pecking her lips. 

Jemma growled finally and threw a leg over his lap and kissed him. His hands were on her hips and he was holding her close. Jemma moaned into his mouth as he leaned as and buried a hand in her hair. They kissed until she was riding the length of him, barred from her by their clothing. She was whimpering when he pulled her face away.

"I really think now'a a good time to st-."

"No, now's a good time for bed," she said and kissed him against. Luckily, he didn't disagree, and not to long later she's beneath him, her legs over broad shoulders, his face between her thighs, and she's gripping his hair gently as he takes her to her first orgasm. 

Jemma's loud, and it's a little embarrassing, but he works her harder with his fingers until she is begging him to stop because it's to much.

He kisses her and Jemma arches her naked body up to him, wraps her legs around his waist. Jemma reaches down for him, and he immediately grabs her wrist and looks up at her with questioning eyes. "I'm fine," she whispers, and he nods. It's nice that he cared though, and it's those moments that she won't forget.

When he slips inside of her he stretches her and Jemma inhales sharply, wrapping her arms around his neck, and finding she was a little overwhelmed by the size of him. His body is so much bigger, harder, than anyone else she had known.

Bucky is more intense, just like she though he might be. Jemma's a mess though as he rides her with one had pinned above her head and forcing cries from her mouth.

She's a little overwhelmed, because he feels amazing, ever slide of him inside of her makes her want to shut her eyes from the pleasure. He's always deep as he moves back in and Jemma admits she likes his heavy weight on her when he settles against her and holds her close.

Maybe she had been a bit intimidated, but when it's all said and done she enjoys it more because it is him. Because he wants her, and cares about her, and that body thrumming with power is moving into her hard and fast. Daisy was right about one thing Jemma realizes as she comes for the third time with a sob, she was going to be sore. But Bucky's hands were gentle, even when his trusts were hard like she begged, and Jemma knew he'd never leave a mark.  
\---------

In the morning, Jemma feels some of her unsureness return, some of her fear. Bucky's body is relaxed against her back, and his arm loose on her waist. Then he pulls her back against his chest. 

"You know, I'll still let you bore me to death with science if you want, even now that I know you can be more fun."

Jemma elbows him in the stomach and he chuckles.

There is silence again and then he sighs against her neck. "I was serious when I said I'm not letting you go."


End file.
